My Greatest Fear

Most people claim spiders and snakes as their greatest fears or heights but none of these scare me.  I don't particularly like any of these and don't seek them out, but they aren't my greatest fear. They aren't a fear that takes my breath away and breaks me down.  That fear is for one inevitable, and no it's not taxes.

Thanatophobia is my greatest fear! The fear of death is my greatest fear.  I'm not particular about it being my death though, I am terrified to lose people I love.  My grandmother will be 85 this year and if I even vaguely thinking about her dying, my breath quickens, my eyes water and I begin to feel very anxious.  I lost my dad at 30 and there are months after his passing where if the day didn't have something to do with my dad I don't remember it. 

It's really probably the control freak in me, in regards to my own dying that terrifies me, because what would my children do? Could my family raise them without me so that they become contributing members of society and not just video game playing shells of humans living in the basement of their fathers home?

Even writing this blog is making me a little anxious.  I know I can't stop death from coming and you never know when it will strike, but if I don't think about it too much and only think of living each day as fully as I can then that's what I will do.

What are your greatest fears?

Thanks for reading!

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