Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Wedding 2011:The proposal

August 8, 2009 was the day I got engaged to my wonderful Adrian. I was almost seven months pregnant and we were at his Family Reunion. Adrian proposed to me on the dock after Chandler, he and I were finished fishing. He asked me how much I loved him, and me being the comedian I am told him that I wouldn't love him very much if he was planning on pushing me in the lake. He just had that glint of evil in his eye, I wasn't sure what he was planning, but I was not expecting him to propose.

Adrian on the beach where he proposed to me, he looks so much better without that neck brace.
After his proposal we told our friends and family.  I am sure it didn't come as much of a surprise to anyone.  Me, being almost seven months pregnant, having just bought a house together it seemed like the (il)logical next step.  Oh yeah and I told everyone that Adrian and I had picked out a ring.  It is a gorgeous ring!!!

The Ring, isn't it pretty??
After the big announcement came the questions.  "When is the wedding going to take place?"
"Where is the wedding going to be?"  "Who are you having in the wedding?"  "Have you set a date yet?"

Well with Adrian just heading back to work after recovering from his broken neck, and me being taken off work within in two months to have a baby, we weren't really ready to start planning a wedding.  We had ideas for tentative dates, but we never really sat down and talked about it.  Then Little Man was born and then it was Christmas and New Years and well time slipped away.  It didn't really slip away we were just busy living life in the moment not really thinking about what was coming up ahead.  Finally, the busy times settled down and we were able to discuss the wedding.

Now we have some of the questions answered for our wedding, we are (and when I say we I mean me) creating our honey do list for ticking off things to get done.  I will continue this story in another blog.  For now Little Man wants my attention and I am only too happy to give it to him!!!

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Status Changes

I often wonder how many of us really talk to all our friends that we have on Facebook.  Or why certain people add you as their friends when really you aren't friends you are just two people who mutually know of each other.

Here is an example of why I am curious about this today.  About eight months ago a girl I went to school with in Junior High added me as her friend.  I knew her to pass her in the hallway but we weren't in the same classes or anything so we weren't even friends back then.  But a really good friend of mine married her brother, and so this girl opens a Facebook account and sends me a message requesting I add her as one of my friends.  I am now trying to filter my friends so I don't add everyone that makes that request, but I try to be discreet about it. However, because of this girls connection to my friend I felt what harm could come of adding her to my Facebook friends.  So I added her.  I did this because I don't want to hurt people's feelings by rejecting them in the cyber world if I don't have to.

Now in the eight months of having her on my Facebook I have very little interaction with her. At one point she tried to call my nephew (my friends son) dumb and then called all Americans dumb so I let her know that that may be more insulting then necessary.  Especially since I am an American ;).  

Yesterday this girl changes her relationship status from Married to single.  She only got married six months ago.  I sent her a message telling her that I was sorry to hear she was single again, and that I hoped her and the kids were doing ok.  She has two children from a previous relationship, but that's besides the point.  She responds to my email telling me to not pretend that I care and asks why I stated she was single again.  Then she said her and the children were fine.  

Now I am not a heartless person so when relationships end it's a sad thing and I do not wish people to be hurting.  I treat others as I hope they will treat me.  I sent her a message back stating this, because she made it public on Facebook, and I felt that she may be looking for some kind words. But for her to shoot me down and ask why she was single again.  Well obviously if you aren't married and you are single, you have become single again, like you were before you were married.

But why would people add others to their Facebook Friend's list if they don't think their comments are genuine.  If I don't like someone or don't want to pretend to be friends with some one on Facebook I delete that person.  So as this girl REQUESTED to be my friend it is odd her behaviour now.  Had she never requested to be my friend I would never have noticed.  Sometimes people are just ridiculous.

So my advice, delete people you aren't really friends with or those you don't care to hear about because Facebook, or any social networking site is, an open book into your private world.  If you don't want people to be curious as to what is happening in your life, block their access or don't post about it!!!

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

He's learned a new trick

So Little Man has learned a new trick and I was able to capture it on film today.

Here he is looking at the camera, while I wait to catch his new little trick.

And here he is sticking his tongue out.

The only picture I wasn't able to capture was when he curled his tongue.  My camera was to slow.  But it was so cute because he would stick his tongue out for thirty seconds at a time and if I stuck my tongue out he would copy me.  I know I am teaching him a bad habit lol.  But it was so cute!!

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

The Brightest Star in the Sky book Review

One of my most favourite authors is Marian Keyes.  My mother actually introduced me to her by giving me one of her books for Christmas.  The first book I ever read of hers was called Angels, and I also read her collection of articles and short stories.  She is a very humourous author and I have thoroughly enjoyed every one of her stories.

Her latest novel is The Brightest Star in the Sky I was a little skeptical when I began reading it. It had a somewhat  hokey beginning.  It starts off with a spirit drifting into this building and meandering around these four flats looking for something.  The chapters travel in days from Day 66 to Day 1.  But as I read on I became more and more engrossed with the character development.  I wanted to know what was going on, I had to know what was affecting these people and Marian did not disappoint me.

Marian weaves a story of the interlocking lives of these people and describes in beautiful detail their woes and triumphs.  I am always excited when I read a book and I can go "Oh"at one point before the end where everything just clicks into place.  In her excellent way Marian got me to do that again, it was out of the blue and surprising but it made absolute sense to the story.

The spirit is all knowing and the story is told as the spirit glides in and out of these people's thoughts and memories.  The spirit is looking for something that is absolutely perfect for it and the only guidance it was given is that the spirit would find it at 66 Star Street.  After 66 days everything comes together and the spirit makes the step to the next part of their journey.  

The concept that is brought up in this story is not new, but it is an interesting thing to consider.  If you are looking for a good book to read I would suggest this or any other novel written by Marian Keyes. You won't be disappointed!!!

Monday, 18 January 2010

Baby Woes

Being a parent is a very unselfish act.  To be a good parent you must do many things for your child in spite of your own wants and needs.  You must be willing to put those little ones first for the rest of your life regardless of what you want.  This is not a bad thing; it’s a reality check. However, it is sometimes necessary to be a little selfish and to do things for you.

I have worked with many parents over the past year, in different capacities as a friend, a teacher and family development worker.  The one thing I have noticed is that the selfish parents are often the parents that find they have the most trouble dealing with their offspring.  Parents that refuse to acknowledge addiction issues, parents that treat their children like their friends first, parents that do not discipline their children and parents that are too busy with their own lives to bother with their children are the parents that are raising children who act out in school, act out in public and turn to the illegal substances that their parents use.  I never speak in absolutes and for some parents that fall into anyone of these categories these statements don’t equal up.  Some parents who do drugs have children that become wonderful contributors to society and are repulsed by drugs because they have experienced what it has done to their family.  These few instances they are the exceptions they are not the rules.

It is to these parents I just want to scream, “WAKE UP!!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOUR CHILDREN!!”  These parents claim to love their children but they do not give their children what they most need.  They need consistency, routine and love.  They do not need things, they do not need absent parents, and they do not need to raise themselves.  Children are selfish they only think about themselves, how can parents expect them to think about others, especially when the parent is leading by example.  Society needs parents to stand up and be accounted for. How are you raising your children?? 

The other end of the spectrum are those parents who molly coddle their children.  These parents also experience troubles with their children.  Parents who do not set limits and let their children “rule the roost” have difficulty with their children. Parents who give into every demand their children make, parents who give themselves over completely to their children, they lose themselves.  It creates children who misbehave and it is such an easy fix if parents would just be parents to begin with.  It is something that all parents can get back if they are willing to work on it, but they have to be willing to put the work into it otherwise it becomes a futile task.  It develops frustration and just teaches the children to continue to fight against their parents because their parents will give up.

I am by no means claiming to be an expert.  I just have experience and when I evaluate my family, I know that I am doing something right.  My eldest son, is experiencing normal teen issues, but he’s a polite and respectful child.  Anyone who has had any dealings with him has told me so.  My youngest is thriving, he’s only 2 and ½ months old, but he’s gaining weight and meeting his milestones.  I am happy to be a mother, but I do understand the need to have balance in my life as well.  Sometimes I am not sure how to explain what I have done, I don’t know how much nurturing has made me eldest into the person he is and how much was nature, but I am not going into that debate.  I know that I have set up limits and routines for him and I know that has helped him develop into the man he is becoming.  My youngest son is definitely a “momma’s suck”.  If he knows I am around he cries until he is with me, if he’s feeling out of sorts I am the only one who can calm him down, if I leave he is fine until he hears my voice then he cries again.  I am doing all I can to make him happy, but he’s only 2 ½ months old you can’t spoil them at this age, but it is something I am aware that will have to be lessened, as he gets older. 

I have also noticed that hanging out in the middle of the spectrum of parenting seems to be the best track.  I take time for myself and my children know it.  I have times when I go out by myself and do things just for me.  But I also do things with my children, sometimes with both of them and sometimes on an individual bases.  Parenting is a balancing act and that is how we have balanced children entering society.  If you aren’t balanced how do you expect your children to be balanced??

My baby woes, well they are not too many actually.  I love that my child is a momma’s suck, but I know that he will grow, as his brother did, into a self-sufficient young man.  A young man that can do things on his own but who also knows that if he is having problems he can come and talk to his parents and ask for help.  My goal as a parent is to raise children who will contribute positively to society; so far I think I am doing all right 

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Olympic Torch Relay

Today is January 15, 2009, yes I am telling you the date, because it is an important date.  Today is the day that the Olympic Torch comes through Red Deer.  It has been making it's way across Canada and today it is stopping in Red Deer, Alberta.  It has made other stops along the way, I have friends that have had pictures taken with it in Prince Albert and another friend went to see it in Devon, Alberta today. 

After four years of preparation Vancouver is preparing to greet the torch and Canada is running with it across this great nation.  It is day 78 of the Torch relay.  Canadians are coming out to greet the torch and to celebrate with the world these 2010 Olympics.  It seemed at times that there were going to be huge problems.  Vancouver had to clean up it's down town, Whistler is closing down runs to save on snow.  I don't think having enough snow was a concern 22 years ago in Calgary, but with Global Warming all kinds of new disasters are coming forward. But now we are all holding bated breathe waiting to see our Canadian Athletes stand on the podium accepting a gold medal.

Tonight I shall be venturing the cold weather to see the torch.  I didn't think I would go, too many people, too cold out, all my usual excuses, but now I have a reason to go.  Chandler's school is taking part in the torch run, I think all the schools in Red Deer are, but I am not entirely sure which is besides the point. Chandler was chosen as one of the 12 grade six representatives from St. Thomas Aquinas School.  So he will be participating in the torch run activities!!!!!  I am so excited!!!

So tonight I will be outside in the cold watching my eldest son participate in the Torch Run. Chandler was very excited.  He was chosen in a draw so it was luck that got him chosen.  But I know he was also chosen because he's such a good kid, I may be biased but you can ask anyone he's a great kid!!!

Hopefully I don't freeze!!! Little Man will probably not be joining us because it's too cold out for him to be out there for that long.  It should be a fun evening!!!

* note the night went well but there were too many people to see Chandler while he participated with the Torch!!! Oh well he had a great time!!!

Friday, 15 January 2010

Weight Loss Tracking #2

A week ago I started my weight loss regiment.  I am wanting to take some pictures of my before and after so I can see the changes but I haven't gotten around to it yet.  I am happy to say, though, that I have begun to notice a difference.  I am getting my waist back!!!!

I also notice that when I am in shape I have tons more energy to do things.  I can function on less sleep and not be cranky or lethargic during the day.  I even want to do more things.  I have also noticed that it doesn't take me as long to fall asleep at night., which is a blessing because when baby is sleeping at night I need to get to sleep fast so I can get as many hours as possible.

Sticking to the no empty calories rule and working out at least four times a week is really helping me reach my goals.  So far I have lost      2%     of my body weight.  It may not seem like a lot, but every little bit counts!!

Now to find something to curb my sweet tooth....;)

Monday, 11 January 2010

Raising Tweens

I am finding that I am faced with new challenges everyday.  I try my hardest to empathize with my children and their plights and also with my friends that are raising children.  I have lot's of friends who are just starting their families and they speak of these terrible twos and trying threes and all those other toddler behaviours that can try a parent's patience.  I wish I could have those days back again, I really do.  Raising tweens and teenagers is a challenge  that I am not enjoying. 
My tween and I
I love my child and he's a good kid, he's polite, he's caring and he's funny.  I don't always get his humour but he is a funny child.  He does not cause me grief at home, it's a challenge to get him to do his school work sometimes, but he's smart and does his homework most of the time without me having to harrass him.  The troubles I am having are from outside variables. 

He came to me this morning and told me that he's been feeling bad because some of the boys from school are bugging him.  They make him feel like he's not good enough, and that he doesn't belong.  I am so PROUD of him for coming to me, I know we have a great relationship when he feels he can come and talk to me about these things.  But now I am frustrated with these other children.  Where do these kids get off treating my SON this way.  I would never allow my son to treat other children this way, and I don't let him.  I tell him he is to be nice and respectful to everyone and he is.  He always has been.  So I told my son that as hard as it is, he has to ignore those ignorant boys and just stay focused on the boys that are his friends and not worry about the others.  He has always been concerned with how people see him though, this has been an issue that first came to light in Kindergarten.  He thought that no one liked him,  but all the kids did, he just didn't understand at first that he could be friends with everyone.  He tries to be friends with everyone and was in Kindergarten to grade two.  Now as he is getting older and going to a new school, he has more people to be friends with but he likes to keep the good ole boys that were his friends first. 

This hurts because I know how it feels to feel like you don't really belong, but I was a different person than my son and I was able to just focus on those people who were and still are my friends today.  But is my advice going to help him overcome this challenge he is facing.  What more can I do to help him, because I am lost??  I don't want him to be hurting, but I know it won't help him if I go to the school and yell at those children, even though that's what I want to do.  So if any of you have any advice that I can use to pass on to my child then I would gladly take it.  I help parents for a living and all the advice I used to give those parents has now left my head because my heart and emotions are clouding all the knowledge right out. 

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Fourth and Final book of the Twilight series Book Review

And she could be heard yelling from the mountain tops,"And thank the LORD for that."  It has taken me three years to begin reading this series and I then finished the series in a matter of three weeks. Not, and I repeat, not because it was an exciting series to read, but because I just wanted to finish the books.  To be able to say that I had read the books.  I am glad that I am able to put these stories behind me now.

The final book was the book I enjoyed the most.  Was this because it was the final book?? Maybe, but who knows.  I was more impressed with the storyline in this novel, and I liked how she told part of the story from Jacob's perspective.  I have always said I enjoy her development of her male characters so that fact that she told part of the story from his perspective was refreshing.

It is this novel that we see Bella grow.  Apparently she is just an obsessive person, because she became obsessed with the idea of her baby, but this is an obsession I can understand.  I enjoyed how all the lose ends came together and then she left us with a little more.  It opened up the series to go in a few different directions if she wants or it can end here and everyone can conclude the ending for these people as they wish.

So if you are like me and are not sure if you should venture into the Twilight Saga, I am not giving it a glowing recommendation, but I will say this; if you want to read it read it fast and get to the last book because it's the only book where you won't want to pull your hair out because the protagonist is acting like a whiney brat.

Friday, 8 January 2010

Eclipse Book Review

So in the third book of the Twilight series, we see a major conflict in Bella.  Which boy should she choose??  Does she ultimately end up chosing the right one?? As many of you know from my previous posts I do not like Bella.  I find her snivelling and whiney, and why these two quote unquote good looking boys are tripping over themselves for her affection is beyond my comprehension.  But they are and she must choose.

The whole story revolves around Bella, excuse the cliche but, wanting her cake and eating it too.  She wants to be with Edward but she wants to still be friends with Jacob.  Now in a normal world this would work out, but Jacob has become what he is because of Edward....hmmm this may become problematic.  Bella dwells on this connundrum the entire story, and it's so frustrating because as soon as you think she's come to terms with things she does the opposite of what she just decided and wants both boys.  I could totally imagine her imagining a scenario where she and Edward are cuddling and Jacob is standing by and watching.  If you care about your friend you let him go and you do not cry about wanting to be around him. 

Then the whole army of new borns storyline was frustrating as well.  I knew immediately what was going on, I don't know if I am just a more forward thinking reader or if the storyline was so blatantly obvious that it hurt to read.  How come as soon as I read about the mass murders I was able to decipher who was behind these things and it took the characters ten chapters to finally clue in???

However, I will say this, this book was better than the first two, but still not may favourite reading material.

Weight Loss Tracking #1

So now that I have set my goal to lose 20 pounds this year for a New Years Resolution I have to do things to help me achieve this goal.  Losing twenty pounds means I will be losing 23 % of my body weight at this moment.  Since October I have already lost 14% of my pregnancy weight. Having a baby definitely helped with that little bit of weight loss.  Now it's time to get serious and get back into shape.

I have started a Biggest Loser Competition with my friends and my family. I figure I am a fairly competitive person so competing to lose the most weight should help me stay motivated.  I want to be healthy and to look great.  It was two years ago that I was down to my ideal weight and I want to get back there again.  Two years ago I was single, that comfortable place we get when dating someone really wrecks motivation to keep active.  Well, no that's not it, it's just that a lot of the time I devoted to the gym got taken up by my desire to spend time with Adrian.  It's not like he said I couldn't go to the gym, but I wanted to spend lot's of time with him and he didn't go to the gym so we did other things. 

Part of my weight loss regiment is to cut out some unhealthy foods.  I can't cut back on my calories too much because I am breast feeding but I do not need to ingest empty calories.  So I, who readily admit that I like pop and sweets, am not eating or drinking any pop during the week.  I will allow myself to have a treat day once a week on the weekends, but other than that those are no goes.  I don't eat many chips but those are also on my not to eat list.  I am snacking on fruit and veggies.  I am cooking most of my meals at home, well really all of them because eating out also falls under the unhealthy foods category. 

The second part to my weight loss regiment is to exercise.  My friend Stacey got me going to Crossfit at Ignite Fitness.  You can click on the word to see their website. It's a pretty gruelling workout but I always feel better after I leave.  I do that two or three times a week.  The next thing I am doing is at home, I have some Wii Fit games to use and some work out videos. I am also using my yoga books to teach me some yoga moves to help keep me centered. My goal is to do a little bit of working out at least everyday but to have four big workouts a week.  Two or three of those workouts will be Crossfit, the rest I must motivate myself to do at home on my own.  I am also going to start using the Collicut Center again, I liked running and to get back into that would be a lot of fun, just have to arrange my days to be able to do this all and still take care of Little Man.

So far this week I have done three big workouts and one little one.  So I am well on my way to keeping this goal. I will continue to comment and post about my journeys into Healthy Living!!!

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Picture Books for little ones

When my first child was born I was given the book Love you Forever by Robert Munsch. It was one of those books that when I read it I would cry because I was hormonal and because, honestly, I am a very sentimental person. So when I became pregnant again I wanted to buy my new little bundle another book.

I found the book Someday by Alison Mcghee and Peter T. Reynolds. Now this is a book that talks about a mother watching her baby grow from a baby into a child and then predicts some of the things this child will experience in the future. I read it to my little baby today and I cried. So to all new parents out there if you want a super easy to read book with pleasant pictures I recommend this book.

I can't believe how big my boys are getting and one day they will move out of my house and I will watch them become the great men I know they are going to be.

Monday, 4 January 2010

New Year's Resolutions

For many years I made resolutions and by the fifteenth of January they were chucked out the window. I find making and sticking to resolutions difficult, especially because they always seem so vague. Lose weight, be happy, find a boyfriend (hahaha), find a job you like etc. So then about five years back I stopped making resolutions. I just said I didn't have any when people asked me what my New Year's resolution was. There was no point making one if I was just going to break it.

Now a new decade has begun and I have (gasp) made a resolution, actually three resolutions for this new year and new decade. I have changed how I have made my resolutions so that they are easier to keep. I find that with anything, details make it easier to stick to something. I mean my resolution could be to lose weight and if I lose two pounds I have experienced success in my resolution but it's not a great success. Resolutions are goals, and when you teach children how to set goals, well you tell them to make sure they obtainable and specific. Make a long term goal, but then create three or four smaller short term goals to help you achieve that long term one. That is the secret to my success in keeping my new years resolutions.

On a side note, resolutions seem to be a way to change negatives into positives. I mean it is society all declaring what they don't like about themselves and then stipulating how they are going to change for the better. Negatives into positives.

My three goals are as follows:
1) I am going to become physically fit by losing 20 pounds.
a) I am going to exercise at least three times a week. two of those times will be going to my cross fit class and once a week on my own with my Wii Fit or Exercise DVDs.
b) I am going to refrain from eating junk food Monday to Friday. Weekends I can indulge but only one day of those weekends.
2) I am going to commit a random act of kindness once a month.
a) find a need a fill it by offering help to someone
b) don't look for those big acts even a small act can do, it is not for recognition just to put some good out into the world.
3) I am going to have a working portfolio to take to publishing houses to get my writing published.
a) I am going to work on my writings for at least ten hours a week. This can be spread over the week or put into one day.
b) I am going to create a support network that will ask me if I have done any writing that week to keep me motivated.
c) I am going to contact publishing companies to find out how to submit my work
d) I am going to contact my local paper about how I could begin to write for them.
So these are my resolutions, I have them broken down and I am hopeful that I will be able to keep them. If I keep these resolutions then I should be closer to my goals in life, that big one of becoming a published author is hanging over my head and I want to reach that goal this year.

Happy resolution keeping to all you who made resolutions!!!!