Locker Stories

I read a book a couple years ago.  It was a novel that was a collection of short stories about people going on vacation to a specific resort.  It got me thinking that it might be fun to write stories for a YA audience that tells all the stories that teens go through in high school.  So I began working on some stories.  I find that sometimes my writing is quite dark, quite focused on the dramatic things that aren't always positive in high school. Which is weird because it's not like my high school experience was filled with dramatic experiences of horror.

So I am wanting some critiques of my stories so here is a sample of one of the stories..... it's the introduction.

I never thought my dream date with the college boy would end up in a nightmare.  I remember telling my best friend how excited I was to finally be going out with a real guy, a man, not just some high school boy like I was used to dating.  She was so jealous! Her face was green with envy.  I will have to break my promise to her now, I cannot set her up with one of his friends.  That would NEVER happen now!!

            I wish I were back at my locker talking with her then.  I wish I had blown off this date with James to go out with Seth again.  But dating a college guy was so exciting, it felt so grown up but now I just felt sick and violated.

“Now Miss, I know this will be difficult,” the officer said in a soothing voice, “but we need you to tell us everything from the beginning of the night.”

            After the humiliation I had just undergone, reliving the nightmare was not something I wanted to do.  I pulled the scratchy blanket tighter around my shoulders, trembling and freezing.  I stared at my feet, in the tattered nylons they were a bluish colour.  I stared at them willing them to turn the nice peachy flesh colour they normally were, but it was all an excuse not to look the officer in the face.

            “Why don’t you start at the beginning, the beginning of the date?” coaxed Officer Schultz, pen poised to take notes as I spoke.

            “He picked me up at eight,” A small crackling voice said, I realized it was mine and tried to clear my throat, but swallowing hard hurt.

            “It’s ok I can understand you just fine, you are doing well, please continue,” Officer Shultz encouraged.

            “His hair was tousled, he looked so good and so sweet,” I paused remembering my initial thoughts when he had arrived at my door.  I recalled every detail of those first moments as I closed my eyes.  I drew my legs in closer to my body.  Lying on my side I couldn’t shift my gaze or I would look into the officers face and I’d see the disgust I felt for myself mirrored in the Officers eyes.

            I was disgusted with myself for having let this happen to me.  I was a strong girl and I liked him, but ‘No’ wasn’t good enough for him.

            “Where did you go first?” Officer Shultz interrupted my spiraling thoughts.

            “We went to that new Italian restaurant.  I had Shrimp Fettuccine and he had Lasagna,” the officer’s pen made scratching noises as he wrote my words, little details, about the evening.

            Details like how James had told me I had haunted eyes.  How my laugh was like tinkling crystal.  How James had stood when I went to the washroom, how he had pushed my chair in. Sweet characteristics, those chivalrous acts that are dead in so many guys these days, things that will sweep a girl off their feet because a guy is treating them like a lady and not just another conquest.

            “He was a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” I stated blandly recalling how his personality had switched and things had gone wrong, so terribly wrong.

            “They often are like that,” responded Officer Shultz, “So after supper where did you go?”

stay tuned for more excerpts this summer of other chapters in this book. Maybe it will be available online sooner and in print soon after that.