"Never apologize for what u feel that is like saying sorry for being real.... I don't regret my past just made me who I am and I'm not a bitch I just have no tolerance for bullshit" This was a status from a friend's Facebook page. I am not sure it it's a quote from another source but for now we will honor S. Ford with it, if I am mistaken, then Google has failed me, because I did search.
I try, and sometimes without success, to express myself without putting blame on someone else. I am a big girl, I can speak up or walk away from any situation I am not enjoying, but if I choose not to walk away, then that's on me not the person that has brought me to this situation. I get how people can read things and think it's about them, people are very narcissistic and want to believe that everyone thinks of them as much as they do, but if people are mostly thinking about themselves, then how can the be thinking about others? It's just human nature though, but it does pose a problem.
I was told by a friend that I should not write things down that could be taken as a "dig" on another person if they read that, that what I wrote could be misinterpreted by them as I was not being nice or a good friend. I couldn't express it at the time, but I didn't agree with her. I never wrote things specifically to be rude or ungrateful for all my friends do, but I wrote because that's how I felt. I never blamed my friends for anything or any situation I was in that I did not enjoy, but if I didn't enjoy them I wasn't going to say I did just so they felt better. If I didn't enjoy something that was on me I could have tried harder or I could have said something, but I felt that I would say nothing and let it go. But when it comes to my blog, I write the truth, I am not going to lie to everyone who reads it that it was a fabu time and have them go there and be like "well this sucked what was she talking about". I try to give a fairly impartial judgement, but hey it's my opinion, it's how I felt and I won't apologize for my words.
I will, and I am a big enough person, to apologize if what i have done has caused hurt feelings or insult to someone else. I am sorry if what I had to say was taken in a context that I did not mean it to be taken in, I am sorry if it hurt someone's feelings, but I can't fight or defend myself against a silent invisible monster. If I am not told why someone is upset I can do nothing to rectify it and I am no longer 19 and going to bend over backwards trying to do it.
I was thinking about it in broader terms as well. If a person does not believe that they did anything wrong i a particular situation then even if they read something it's not going to be like they feel bad about it. They will only feel bad about it if their consciences is already feeling like they may have done something that was not the greatest. If you truly believe that you are without fault you won't feel bad by what other people say or write. You understand that their perception is different than yours and you can appreciate their side of the story without seeing them blaming yourself.
Like I said in a previous blog, you are in charge of your feelings and you choose to feel what you wish. Your reaction or pro action is all on you and no one can or should have that control over you. Sometimes it sounds very cold and calculating, but sometimes in a world where emotions rule the day we have to take a step back out of the bubble and look at everything from a neutral point of view in order to survive in this emotionally charged world.
I agree with my friends Facebook status, I am not a bitch I just have little tolerance for bullshit. I won't put up with it and I won't let it keep me down, and I won't apologize for feeling the way I feel. But I will apologize if I hurt someone, that's just being a decent person. But I won't make them wonder why I am mad, I will let them know, especially if I think it's something I won't get over.
In a world where we are surrounded by fakeness, through television, Hollywood, music industry, let's make a pact to be real, because that's the only way we will see the goodness of human nature shine through to make a change for the better. I challenge you to be real and to not put up with bullshit, can you do it?? I can and am!!