Friday, 5 December 2014

It should be yoga, but it's not going to be

So I had originally planned to do a post on my yoga sessions with Nicole Schulz, and I will but something else came up that I feel the need to articulate about. So here goes.

Social media, as great as it is, in keeping us all connected it is an evil, an evil that drives me crazy.  An evil that probably drives teenagers crazy because they feel so much pressure to be perfect and to always be virtually engaging with their friends. Yet Social media is supposed to be a network or your friends and your friends should support you, yet, negative comments, judgemental comments always seem to creep in.

I don't share a lot on Facebook, and yet I do.  But most of what I share is pretty neutral, it's not thought provoking, it's not anything to start a conversation, it's things like going to stars and strollers, or thanks to a friend for having a great visit.  I get lot's of likes and that's very uplifting, that people care enough about me and my life to spend even 5 seconds on my updates.  And there are times when I wish I could just delete Facebook (I'm aware I can, I just have a compulsion to not do it) but my desire to see what's going on with my friends and family far away keeps me connected.  That and it bothers me that even if I shut down my Facebook account it's still there, if I shut it down I want it gone, erased from internet, not something that sits out in limbo that a hacker could get their hands on.

I think Facebook in the ability that it allows people to stay connected over great distances is a great tool.  It's wonderful that I can connect instantly with friends and family across the globe, that they can see my kids grow even if they don't get to see them daily.

But Facebook can bring out the worst in people too. People hide behind their statuses, posting all the 'wonderful' things that are happening in their life, yet in reality that's not what their life looks like, and I've personally found those people that paint a stepford wives portrait of their life are the most judgemental of other peoples lives.  It's so frustrating too, because they put on this front that their life is perfect, that they are living the dream, and if you don't measure up they let you know. They then comment on other people's statuses to make them feel bad because they don't have a "perfect" life.  Or they comment on other people's status like they know better and that the person is making a detrimental mistake by posting an honest status on Facebook.

I just wish people would stop passing judgement on others.  You have not walked my path, you have not experienced my life so you can not make an informed decision on what is best for me.  You can make suggestions, but at the end of the day, I'm going to make my decision I feel is best for me and it may be a mistake, I've made a few in my life, but it's what I've decided whatever comes it's what I can live with.  I may not understand everything my friends are doing, but it's not up to me to interpret their life decisions, and it's not up to them to interpret mine.  I welcome questions but at the end of the day it's my decision and I hope my friends can support me on the decisions I am making.  That's what I need from my friends SUPPORT not JUDGEMENT.

I can just say that I don't get a lot of judgement, or if I do I just sort of ignore it.  But I have friends that have posted honest posts, on their opinions and what's going on in their life and people attack them for expressing themselves.  Now it's a two way street, but there's a difference between wanting to ensure your friends aren't making rash decisions, and basically telling them they are making a horrible mistake and they are being stupid (insert your pick of negative adjectives here).

I appreciate my friends honest posts, it allows me to see that they are still being themselves, they are still being real, not pretending to be a perfect version of themselves. My friends are AMAZING but they aren't perfect.  They are always learning from what they do and they are always growing and I love them for it.  However, if they do post things I have questions about I generally don't comment on their status on Facebook, I will text them (which isn't much better) or I will be crazy and I will PHONE them to talk to them (Not the greatest either) or if they live close by I will be crazier and actually SIT DOWN and have a FACE to FACE visit with them(best option)!!!

I've decided on a New Year's resolution, it's going to be hard, it's going to be near impossible, but I'm going to only check Facebook on my computer for a month, then maybe two, so after January 1 I will delete Facebook from my phone and I won't be on it, but I will talk and keep in contact with my friends and family by phoning, texting or emailing.  I just need to decrease my habit of checking that stupid website as frequently as I do!!

Ok who wants to do this challenge with me?  If you are interested in doing this let me know we can support each other by texting or calling to keep us off Facebook....let's go old school and communicate like we did way back when.  I may even get a landline and decrease my cell phone (ok let's not get crazy ahahhaa)

2 comments:

  1. I get where you are coming from but I choose to ignore the negativity because really it's few and far in-between. And I know who you are talking about regarding her honesty and what not and that really sucked and it still does. To me Facebook is so much more then the negative stuff. I have joined various mom's groups and buy n sell sites within the city and I have met so many great people including 2 of my best friends here in Calgary. This is where my family back home can see my girls on a daily basis when in reality they only get to see them a few times a year.

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    1. I agree that Facebook is more than the negative stuff!! I just hate when it comes up, but I also hate my obsessive dependency on it, I will still post and keep connected but I'm going to try to do so only through my computer and not through my phone. It's going to be hard, but I think it might be worth it!

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