Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Life Stealers Pt 2

The post I wrote last night got me thinking of another time when people could be life stealers.  This always happens when they are in relationships and I am speaking of those romantic relationships. It is definitely something I used to be guilty of, but have since come to realize the folly in my ways and have corrected the behaviour.


What behaviour might this be you ask, well it's the behaviour where one person becomes or tries to become a carbon copy of the person they are with.  This behaviour is dictated when a person's likes or dislikes change, or they start taking on activities that they use to scoff at before they became involved with this new relationship.  


I know in past relationships I have taken up activities that my boyfriends have enjoyed, not because I was interested in them or because I actually had a desire to become involved with them, but simply because my boyfriend liked them and I wanted to spend time with him.  I became guilty of being a life stealer of my boyfriend.  I become friends with their friends, I hang out with their friends girlfriends, I try to involve my friends with theirs so we can all hang out together.  I  stopped hanging out with my friends on our own because I could not function without my boyfriend because I had essentially lost myself while putting myself into a relationship.  Funny, (read a lot of sarcasm here) all these relationships ended up in the toilet, with me having no desire to really see this person ever again.


Now fast forward a few years, to a period of time when I was able to be alone, without a relationship to cloud my judgement of who I truly was. I was able to focus on myself and what I liked and disliked without outside influence from a male.  I was able to embrace myself as I was with my girlfriends and I was able to realize that the "me" who was with my girlfriends was the "me" that initially attracted the guys and it was the "me" the guys wanted to be in a relationship with.  Not the other person I morphed into.  


So now I understand that I can be me and be in a relationship.  I can liked scrambled eggs even if Adrian likes sunny side up. He's still going to love me if I don't want to play his video games with him or watch UFC with him. He's going to love me because I allow him to be himself and I will be myself doing the things I enjoy.  I know that he will let me blog, and read not expect me to do otherwise if it is what I am wanting to do.  So I can be me, and he will support me in being genuine.  And that is the best thing I can ask for.


It's just some interesting thoughts I wanted to share with you!!!

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