Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Being a Mom of Boys

Did you know that raising boys has very different strategies than raising girls?  I wasn't really clued in to this until I had my first boy (15 years ago).
 Oh what was that, I don't look old enough to have a 15 year old, well thanks, I don't feel old enough to have a 15 year old either!!!  And now I have two more little scallywags to raise into proper men.

I have been told by some of my friends that I should be a mother to a girl because I could impart on them some true gems of wisdom.  Things like love yourself, or don't let a  boy dictate to you how you should behave or act.  Things that my mom taught me and some things I learned while getting scraps and bruises along the way to becoming the woman I am today.

Here's the thing I love Disney movies!! I love them all, especially the princess movies, but there was always a part of me that was like, I wish the princesses didn't always have to be rescued, I sometimes wish the roles would be reversed.  I love novels with strong female characters, those characters that can stand up on their own and do not need help from a male character.  They can accept it, but in the end you know by reading that that female character would be absolutely fine on their own.  And now Disney has come out with Frozen, which I love, no wait LOVE!!!! It's my new favourite, this Hans Christian Anderson tale has now replaced my last favourite (another Hans Christian Anderson tale) The little Mermaid.  I love the take on this story and I love that Disney has gotten away from the Princesses always needing to be rescued by some male hero, the male characters in this story are fine, but I love that the two Princesses get out of their own mess together.  I love how Anya saves her sister!!

Anyways I have digressed, maybe I will create a new post all about how I love Frozen and why..... for now I am going to share the top five things I have found to be different about raising boys, things that growing up as a girl with a brother I never realized.

1) Boys are on the go all the time. There is no such thing as quiet play, they are go, go, go!! If they aren't racing cars, they are killing dragons and bad guys with their finger guns or stick swords.  Boys are also loud when they play and when they are quiet, they are doing something they shouldn't be doing.

2)Boys have you worrying about different things. Not that you wouldn't worry about these things for girls but Boys definitely bring different worries to the fore front of thinking. Things like broken bones from playing, or possibly being over sensitive. I worry that my boys won't fit in but also that they won't be able to stand on their own. I also worry that they will gain interest in things that I won't be able to share with them, guns and stuff..... but I will find ways for them to

3) Boys are always grabbing at themselves.  And when they really start grabbing at it, they do it constantly, and it looks painful!! It doesn't matter how often you ask them to stop grabbing themselves, they always go back to it.  The funniest thing, though, is  when you call them on it, they totally look surprised that you caught them, it's like they didn't know that's what they were doing.

4) Boys love their moms! Well ok my boys do!! And they enjoy snuggles, and cuddles and hugs until they get into middle school. After that it's more they only want to show affection when they want something or when no one is looking.  For boys, their mom is their first love, and it's a love that lasts forever, you are the yard stick they use to measure all other girls too.


5) Boys for all their rough and tumble-ness, are very sensitive.  I'm not sure if this applies to all boys, but the boys in my house are for sure.  And it's that sensitivity that I am nurturing, because though it may not always fit into that manly model of what a man is, I feel that it is something that boys have to learn. Boys are always told to toughen up, but sometimes that goes to far and boys need to know that it's ok to cry from time to time.  They need to know it's ok to feel their feelings and that their feelings are validated.  It's never good to keep feelings bottled in, but you also don't want them to cry at everything, you don't even want that for girls, so it's a balance.


I'll share more about what I have learned about raising boys in future blogs!!

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