Remarriage of a parent
I am all for your parents being happy and doing those things in life that will make them happy. I would hope that if my mother found someone that made her happy she would do whatever it took to keep her happy. If that meant remarrying, or moving in with him or adopting another child if that's what makes her happy then she should do that. What I don't agree with is your parents doing something that will not fulfill their happiness even if they think it will. That is a very convoluted statement, let me qualify it.
My father told me he was going to remarry back in 2007. He said he had been talking with a girl from the Phillipenes and had decided to marry her. I asked how long they had been talking and how old she was. He did not want to answer either questions, so I knew he was embarrassed by the answers but I pressed on and he answered. They had been talking for two months and she was 24 years old. My father was 62. I was disgusted, I couldn't understand how he could want to marry someone who was younger than his own daughter.
I was not the only family member to be upse with my father. We did not believe that he was marrying her for the right reasons. Actually to be honest we did not believe she was marrying him for the right reasons. WE believed that he had been duped by her and ws being brainwashed by people who had her best interests at heart, not his. We believed that she was after his money and passage into the United States. We tried to talk him out of it, we expressed that we did not support his decision, we refused to accept her into OUR family. He was welcome to continue to be part of our family but he would have to keep her away. I told my father that I would no longer come to California to stay with him if she was living there because I didn't want to have to explain this situation to my son. I told him we could go for supper and visit but if she so much as came with in 25 yards of my son the visit was effectively ended and would not be resumed until she was not around. I was not against my father finding happiness, but a mail order bride from the Phillipenes was not going to be what did it.
Now I am thinking about this situation, I know that it is a horrible situation, but I am not against the marriage of a parent. But knowing what I know now I would not suggest that if you are in a situation where your parent could remarry later in life that you take a back seat to this situation. I would say that you sit down with your parent and their chosen have a talk. If you can't sit down with the chosen because they live too far away WARN your parents to make sure their interests and families are protected and to do what they can to protect themselves from these people. It's not about not being happy with a new partner, it's about not making your family live through a horrible nightmare after you are gone.
My father told me he was going to remarry back in 2007. He said he had been talking with a girl from the Phillipenes and had decided to marry her. I asked how long they had been talking and how old she was. He did not want to answer either questions, so I knew he was embarrassed by the answers but I pressed on and he answered. They had been talking for two months and she was 24 years old. My father was 62. I was disgusted, I couldn't understand how he could want to marry someone who was younger than his own daughter.
I was not the only family member to be upse with my father. We did not believe that he was marrying her for the right reasons. Actually to be honest we did not believe she was marrying him for the right reasons. WE believed that he had been duped by her and ws being brainwashed by people who had her best interests at heart, not his. We believed that she was after his money and passage into the United States. We tried to talk him out of it, we expressed that we did not support his decision, we refused to accept her into OUR family. He was welcome to continue to be part of our family but he would have to keep her away. I told my father that I would no longer come to California to stay with him if she was living there because I didn't want to have to explain this situation to my son. I told him we could go for supper and visit but if she so much as came with in 25 yards of my son the visit was effectively ended and would not be resumed until she was not around. I was not against my father finding happiness, but a mail order bride from the Phillipenes was not going to be what did it.
Now I am thinking about this situation, I know that it is a horrible situation, but I am not against the marriage of a parent. But knowing what I know now I would not suggest that if you are in a situation where your parent could remarry later in life that you take a back seat to this situation. I would say that you sit down with your parent and their chosen have a talk. If you can't sit down with the chosen because they live too far away WARN your parents to make sure their interests and families are protected and to do what they can to protect themselves from these people. It's not about not being happy with a new partner, it's about not making your family live through a horrible nightmare after you are gone.
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