Tuesday, 7 June 2016

The beginning of MY Change

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

I don't even know where to begin with this book, it's amazing and everyone should read it!! Or listen to the audio book like I did!

I set the book in my car for my drive to Saskatchewan the other weekend and I couldn't believe how on target this book was, how it absolutely said everything that I was thinking but couldn't put into words.

How often does one come across books like this?  Books that speak on the frequency of where your life wants you to go, not on the frequency you are stuck in, but in that higher frequency of where you know this life can take you.  That's what this book was for me.

I found it was real, not some mythical new age crap (which for the record I actually subscribe to for the most part), but it got to the real heart of the matter.  I mean I totally need to listen again and take some notes on what was all said but this book gave me my first AhHa moment that I shared on Youtube.  It also got me motivated to get passed this darkness that is surrounding me.

Here's the truth and this is so hard for me to admit but as I am trying to treat this as a journal, slash blog, slash motivational platform I am going to put it down.  I suffer from the sads, and not seasonal affectiveness disorder, but sadness.  It's so hard to describe, because I don't want to take anything away from people that are in this same situation but I don't feel it's insurmountable, it's just sadness.

I would say I have a form of depression, it's not clinical depression I am not on any meds, I am not cowering in a corner crying every night, I am not having thoughts of suicide and I am not unable to cope with my normal life. In fact I carry on much like I have always done, one foot in front of the other....and eventually I will get past this molehill that feels like a mountain.  I just know I am not happy.  I have moments of happiness and energy and I still go out and do things, but my general mood is not of happiness.

I know people that have suffered from depression, seen famous people speak out about it and what they describe seems so much further down the rabbit hole then where I am.  But I am still in the rabbit hole of depression, my head gets to peak out every now and again, but there are many things dragging me down..... and it kind of sucks.

So I suffer from an over all sadness.  I have little motivation to do anything but what is absolutely required of me and I spend a lot of time in my bed watching television to escape my reality.  But it was this book that sort of pointed it out for me.  I am not the me other people see, in my own world my friends no me but the woman I look at in the mirror is a sad version of me, the light doesn't quite meet the eyes.

So we've identified the problem, and I could go on and on telling you exactly what is making me sad but that is really a long story, just trust that I have identified those things and I am working to ensure I don't let them drag me further down.  I'm using the voice I was given to speak out and to help others. How do I know maybe there are many of us out there that suffer from sadness, we don't think it's depression but in actual fact it's the gateway to depression and if we aren't careful we could fall straight down into what I can only imagine is a deep abyss of all the negatives in our lives.

So I thank Jen Sincero for her book it's been eye opening and provided me with some self reflection I very desperately needed.  If you need a book that's real and will cut through the BS this is a great book!!  I will do a more full review later!!

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