Life's Whirlwind Adventures

I was really starting to feel like my old self.   My husband and I were communicating, work was going well, I didn't feel burdened by outside pressures and things looked like they were coming into focus.  I was able to start looking at my future and I was feeling confident, secure in the way it was heading.  Was I where I wanted to be? Was the journey over? No, but that oppressive, I'm never going to get there feeling had shrunk into a quiet whisper in my head that I could watch say what it was saying and I was feeling detached, like it wasn't me, but some weird movie my head wanted to play and thought I should buy into. Then if you've been reading my other blogs, the Chapter blogs, you will have seen that we've been dealing with my youngest sons walking issues and haven't really known what has been causing it but we were chasing down all possibilities. When I was given his diagnosis, of CMT I thought my heart was going to break.  Guilty thoughts washed ov...

Yesterday, I blogged about my trip to California, it was a great trip, but I went on that trip because I felt an emptiness in my soul, and I couldn't place where it was coming from. I felt that maybe I was burned out, maybe I was overly stressed and needed to take a time out.   A time out from my life, and maybe the best way to do that was to go somewhere that was like home, but wasn't my home. So I looked into flights, and found a cheap one for the fall break down to San Fransisco.  I sent out messages to everyone I knew in San Fransisco area and we made plans to meet up.  It was great to see everyone and I don't regret the trip, not one bit. While on this trip I had a great visit with so many people that I love, that I connect with on a whole different level. Who I know I can share things about my life with them and there is absolutely no judgement and no suggestions for how I should do things. They only listen and allow me to talk out my thoughts until I f...

So as you can guess from the title of this post it's not all rainbows and unicorns with roses blooming in the spring. But it's not all bad, and I'm not yet hibernating in my bed because the thought of facing the world is horrendously overwhelming, panic attacks aren't happening, and I can still find laughter and good times with my friends. I'm not in the bottom of the pit of depression, but I am definitely dancing along that pits edges and some days I slip down a ledge and others I pull myself up. So this this and this is what my depression looks like. To an outsider looking in, it actually doesn't look that bad, I blame social media for that.  I feel compelled to post positive things because I do not want people constantly coming up to me wanting to help, I appreciate that they want to help, but I have reached out and gotten support from those I feel I need it from at this point in time. I am in counselling right now, and I am working through t...

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero I don't even know where to begin with this book, it's amazing and everyone should read it!! Or listen to the audio book like I did! I set the book in my car for my drive to Saskatchewan the other weekend and I couldn't believe how on target this book was, how it absolutely said everything that I was thinking but couldn't put into words. How often does one come across books like this?  Books that speak on the frequency of where your life wants you to go, not on the frequency you are stuck in, but in that higher frequency of where you know this life can take you.  That's what this book was for me. I found it was real, not some mythical new age crap (which for the record I actually subscribe to for the most part), but it got to the real heart of the matter.  I mean I totally need to listen again and take some notes on what was all said but this book gave me my first AhHa moment that I shared on Youtube.  It also got me motivated ...