Working versus Passion

Why do politics have to get in the way of you working your passion?  I love my job, I love what I do, and the results I see daily from helping coordinate programs for those in my programs.  It's so rewarding!!

But then politics get involved, be they provincial politics or just plain office politics, and then my passion is smothered.  It's not that I can't do my job in and around the politics, I can, but then the changes I think are necessary for moving the company into the next phase are never brought forward.  Because I can be a very good big picture thinker, but I can also break down the big picture into segments like a puzzle so that we can develop that big picture.

I tend to jump the gun a lot, bring things forward that aren't as well thought out as they could be, especially on the fly or off the cuff, as they come to me.  Sometimes my verbal diarrhea is hard to stop, especially when it's something I'm quite passionate about.

So here's my little Dear Diary entry about work.  We have a system at work that doesn't really work, to be honest it's quite cumbersome and there are too many people involved before the circle can be closed for the sake of standards.  It doesn't work, it's never worked, and it's never been standardized.

So I was trained in a system with standard operating procedures, as a teacher we have standard operating procedures that we all adhere too.  I like them, it means I know what I am responsible for and how to work to accomplish each task.  I brought forward a concern about our system that is broken, and wanted to have a discussion amongst the people who work with that system and with our managers so we could come up with a solution.

When I brought up the topic we started having a discussion and a few times a few of my co workers were passing dirty looks to me, and even some of my managers body language stated they were not happy I had brought this up.  In the midst of the conversation the one manager who did not look happy, said "We are done here!" effectively shutting me down and I felt like even though I wanted to work this out it wasn't something she would support so why should anyone else even want to talk about it.

My biggest concern with it is when another of my coworkers brings things forward she just brings them forward and we are to do them, there is never any discussion and I was trying to have a discussion so all of us who would be affected by this change would could voice our concerns.  It's very frustrating when we are told to work as a team, yet one person who has never done my job to the degree that my job is, is dictating all these changes to how we do our work but not giving any standard operating procedures to help us all move forward, nor is she telling us we will be doing this now instead of this, it's more we will do this now on top of doing this.

I don't play the politics game very well. I know I am very good at my job, I have a lot of self confidence in myself as a leader, that is not what I am concerned about, what I'm concerned about is that I am losing my passion for a job.

The question becomes is it worth it to keep going to work that I am not truly passionate about and leaving my kids to be at home with a sitter?  I've never felt that way, I do not believe that under any circumstance it's worth it to sacrifice your happiness for a paycheque, I  do not live to work, I  work to live my life according to my guidelines.


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