Lemons into lemonade
I am experiencing the blues right now..... I know from past experiences that I can sometimes have a defeatists attitude towards life. Right now I am smack in the middle of some woe is me feelings and I do not know how to get out of them.
I can easily see the big picture, I never have a problem with that, it's those smaller pictures that creep up and block your big picture view that I struggle with. Does it sound like I am speaking in tongues, well here I will explain. I know I am at a HUGE crossroads in my life, I really have three directions and possibly a fourth I can travel down in the near future. So I have been dabbling with a couple paths, not really going too far down these roads, because I always want to be able to merge into a better path if I need to.
My choices revolve around career choice. Option A is returning to the Teaching world as a sub or part time and working that life. It's not always much fun, but once you are well known you can have fairly steady work and you never have to take it home with you!! But there are no benefits, so I would have to supplement them out of pocket or rely on Adrian's, which surprisingly are not very good!! Option B is to stay home and open a day home in my house where I watch three or four other children. It would keep me busy but it wouldn't be so many children that I would be housebound everyday. I go a little stir crazy when I get stuck in this house for long periods of time. Option C is to open a home based business selling Fifth Avenue Collection. I have already started this business but I am more dabbling in it doing it as a hobby for fun more than anything else. I suppose if I start treating it like a full time job it will actually pick up and go farther, however right now I am not there yet. Option D find a night job to work at part time so that I can be home with my family and out working only part of the evening.
I like Option A because it will get me out of the house, and utilize my degree that I paid thousands of dollars for. I dislike this option because you are living on someone else's schedule and are often woken by the phone to work in the morning, not a fun life, but it's not that bad. I really liked Option B and was dabbling in that right now by watching my friend's boy full time. I got to stay home I got to play with kids, it was grand. Option C is a fun option because it gets me out of the house and allows me to socialize with other adults. I also like this option because I can do this option with any of the other options except D. I don't like D really at all but if it allows me to be at home with Leigham and to spend time with my family then I would do that. I would sacrifice sleep to be able to raise my children on my own. I spent enough on Day care to not really want to spend any more money on it needlessly.
Here's the kicker. I am struggling and just when I think I have things worked out someone throws a lemon at me. So I have been sitting in a patch of sour lemons, getting mopey and honestly a little pissed off. I try very hard not to take things personally but sometimes its hard. For example, the boy I am currently babysitting may not be coming here anymore after April. Not because I have done anything wrong, but because she needs to find subsidize child care. I completely understand that, which was why I was looking into becoming licensed after July because if I was going to do a Dayhome I may as well do it up so that I stay busy. So now this boy may be leaving in May, then he is gone for June and July. So she is considering pulling him for subsidized daycare for two months. Now I know I sound like I am whining, and I am I am having a pity party here. But this girl is supposed to be my friend I have been helping her out by giving her a reduced rate as it is, so I would think that maybe she could help me out by sticking it out for an extra month and half then when her son returns I could possibly be licensed and accepting more children and all would be right with the world. So with no children coming in that makes me step back and consider if I want to do something else.
If I don't have her son here I can do a lot more traveling, I can focus on my Fifth Avenue Collection business, really start it going and put my full effort into it. I could come and go from my house as I choose, setting up play dates as I need them, do more office parties, sign Leigham up for many activities and participate with him. It really is not the end of the world, but maybe I am just nervous that I will have to go back to work and have to work in a crappy job like I left and be miserable just because I need to make ends meet. The only issue I am seeing with my Fifth Avenue Collection business is the economy, people are saying, "we don't have money." so they are using that as a reason not to host a show. I don't argue with them, because they know their finances better than I, but I should let you know that by having three or four girlfriends over and each girlfriend spending let's say $25 on a necklace, the hostess would receive a half price item and a fabulous hostess gift. Plus maybe two of those friends would like to host a party then the hostess would earn 15% in sales towards free jewelry, yeah it may only be 10 or 15 dollars but that could give you another item and your cost would have been $25. That's the nice thing about Fifth Avenue Collection it's not that expensive but the pieces look fantastic. I've also got other friends that don't like to say no, which I can take, the worst you can say is no if I ask you to do a party. I may offer you the opportunity to look at my showcase to buy something while we meet for coffee, if doing a show is not on your agenda. That is totally fine, but at least say no don't avoid my calls or texts, it gets me to start thinking that I have done something to insult or piss you off, which is WAY worse then you saying you can't host a party.
I have another 7 months of maternity leave. If I don't have my friend's boy coming after April I am going to put a lot of effort into Fifth Avenue Collection for a bit to see how that goes. I know that if I start plugging away it will go well I just have to treat it like a job and spend the time making it into something successful. Success never came easy to anyone. But really if it doesn't work out then I can always fall back on my degree and start subbing in the fall. I won't be down and out until the fat lady sings.;)
I can easily see the big picture, I never have a problem with that, it's those smaller pictures that creep up and block your big picture view that I struggle with. Does it sound like I am speaking in tongues, well here I will explain. I know I am at a HUGE crossroads in my life, I really have three directions and possibly a fourth I can travel down in the near future. So I have been dabbling with a couple paths, not really going too far down these roads, because I always want to be able to merge into a better path if I need to.
My choices revolve around career choice. Option A is returning to the Teaching world as a sub or part time and working that life. It's not always much fun, but once you are well known you can have fairly steady work and you never have to take it home with you!! But there are no benefits, so I would have to supplement them out of pocket or rely on Adrian's, which surprisingly are not very good!! Option B is to stay home and open a day home in my house where I watch three or four other children. It would keep me busy but it wouldn't be so many children that I would be housebound everyday. I go a little stir crazy when I get stuck in this house for long periods of time. Option C is to open a home based business selling Fifth Avenue Collection. I have already started this business but I am more dabbling in it doing it as a hobby for fun more than anything else. I suppose if I start treating it like a full time job it will actually pick up and go farther, however right now I am not there yet. Option D find a night job to work at part time so that I can be home with my family and out working only part of the evening.
I like Option A because it will get me out of the house, and utilize my degree that I paid thousands of dollars for. I dislike this option because you are living on someone else's schedule and are often woken by the phone to work in the morning, not a fun life, but it's not that bad. I really liked Option B and was dabbling in that right now by watching my friend's boy full time. I got to stay home I got to play with kids, it was grand. Option C is a fun option because it gets me out of the house and allows me to socialize with other adults. I also like this option because I can do this option with any of the other options except D. I don't like D really at all but if it allows me to be at home with Leigham and to spend time with my family then I would do that. I would sacrifice sleep to be able to raise my children on my own. I spent enough on Day care to not really want to spend any more money on it needlessly.
Here's the kicker. I am struggling and just when I think I have things worked out someone throws a lemon at me. So I have been sitting in a patch of sour lemons, getting mopey and honestly a little pissed off. I try very hard not to take things personally but sometimes its hard. For example, the boy I am currently babysitting may not be coming here anymore after April. Not because I have done anything wrong, but because she needs to find subsidize child care. I completely understand that, which was why I was looking into becoming licensed after July because if I was going to do a Dayhome I may as well do it up so that I stay busy. So now this boy may be leaving in May, then he is gone for June and July. So she is considering pulling him for subsidized daycare for two months. Now I know I sound like I am whining, and I am I am having a pity party here. But this girl is supposed to be my friend I have been helping her out by giving her a reduced rate as it is, so I would think that maybe she could help me out by sticking it out for an extra month and half then when her son returns I could possibly be licensed and accepting more children and all would be right with the world. So with no children coming in that makes me step back and consider if I want to do something else.
If I don't have her son here I can do a lot more traveling, I can focus on my Fifth Avenue Collection business, really start it going and put my full effort into it. I could come and go from my house as I choose, setting up play dates as I need them, do more office parties, sign Leigham up for many activities and participate with him. It really is not the end of the world, but maybe I am just nervous that I will have to go back to work and have to work in a crappy job like I left and be miserable just because I need to make ends meet. The only issue I am seeing with my Fifth Avenue Collection business is the economy, people are saying, "we don't have money." so they are using that as a reason not to host a show. I don't argue with them, because they know their finances better than I, but I should let you know that by having three or four girlfriends over and each girlfriend spending let's say $25 on a necklace, the hostess would receive a half price item and a fabulous hostess gift. Plus maybe two of those friends would like to host a party then the hostess would earn 15% in sales towards free jewelry, yeah it may only be 10 or 15 dollars but that could give you another item and your cost would have been $25. That's the nice thing about Fifth Avenue Collection it's not that expensive but the pieces look fantastic. I've also got other friends that don't like to say no, which I can take, the worst you can say is no if I ask you to do a party. I may offer you the opportunity to look at my showcase to buy something while we meet for coffee, if doing a show is not on your agenda. That is totally fine, but at least say no don't avoid my calls or texts, it gets me to start thinking that I have done something to insult or piss you off, which is WAY worse then you saying you can't host a party.
I have another 7 months of maternity leave. If I don't have my friend's boy coming after April I am going to put a lot of effort into Fifth Avenue Collection for a bit to see how that goes. I know that if I start plugging away it will go well I just have to treat it like a job and spend the time making it into something successful. Success never came easy to anyone. But really if it doesn't work out then I can always fall back on my degree and start subbing in the fall. I won't be down and out until the fat lady sings.;)
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