So as you can guess from the title of this post it's not all rainbows and unicorns with roses blooming in the spring. But it's not all bad, and I'm not yet hibernating in my bed because the thought of facing the world is horrendously overwhelming, panic attacks aren't happening, and I can still find laughter and good times with my friends. I'm not in the bottom of the pit of depression, but I am definitely dancing along that pits edges and some days I slip down a ledge and others I pull myself up.
and this is what my depression looks like.
To an outsider looking in, it actually doesn't look that bad, I blame social media for that. I feel compelled to post positive things because I do not want people constantly coming up to me wanting to help, I appreciate that they want to help, but I have reached out and gotten support from those I feel I need it from at this point in time.
I am in counselling right now, and I am working through things with her. …
Since my third baby was born my body has been in revolt. It has been revolting against it's current state and causing me all kinds of problems that I had never even imagined.
Truly, when I entered into puberty and the whole menstration cycle began, it kind of began without any pomp or circumstance. I didn't have abdominal cramping, I didn't feel sick, I was hardly moody at all. I got a tiny leg cramp, I thought it was from gym class, so I went to the washroom and was disgusted and excited at the same time.
But that's how most of my periods worked. They were like clockwork, I was a full 28 day cycle and the only thing that threw me off that cycle was pregnancies. But even pregnancies weren't so bad until the birth of my third child.
Now I am not blaming my third baby, but I think it's more than coincidental that my body start rejecting the natural state of things at the same time my periods began after nursing this cutie!
I loaded the boys into my white Dodge Caravan, buckling Teddy into his seat and telling Leigham to buckle up in his booster seat. It's a fight most days, because Leigham goes in the door that Teddy's seat is beside and Teddy gets upset but today they know they are going to see the Chiropractor, so today they are happy to comply. Usually, the chiropractor is just a mommy thing so for them it's a treat.
Driving through Red Deer is quick, the Chiropractor is downtown by the Safeway and takes about ten minutes. Traffic is light this July morning since it's one, summer and two, after nine. We arrive at the Chiropractor and I take the boys in, holding Teddy's little hand tightly and we walk and he stumbles over the air.
"Come on Teddy, get up," I chide as he stumbles again, his walking has always been this way, it's like he doesn't know how to lift his toes over the cracks. One day I fear I am going to wrench his arm out of his socket when he fal…